Rules for Work

Rules for Work :
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and the bring it to me. The chalenge of a deadline is refreshing
2. If its’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how its going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going . it gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, dont open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case i should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, dont tell me which is priority. I am physic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go anything to do. I have no life beyond work

7. If a job i do pleases you, keep it a secret. If thats gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you dont like my work , tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, dont write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information
10. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have not right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them

11. Be nice to me only when the job im doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers hell.
12. Tell me all yout little problem. No one else has any and its nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals Should have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway.

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I can not guarantee that the information on my blog is 100% correct